Example inspires

“Example leads” is one of those short Slovenian proverbs that hold a surprisingly profound thought. Two words express something people have been proclaiming for millennia: a person is shaped not only by words, rules and teachings, but above all by the people they observe. What we see others doing can become a pattern for our own behaviour. Example does not persuade through explanation. It works quietly—by presenting itself to us as a possible choice.

This thought is much older than the Slovenian language and its proverb. We find it in various civilisations, from ancient China and India to Greece and Rome, and later in European Christian, folk and philosophical traditions. Everywhere it appears in a slightly different form, yet beneath the different words lies the same intuition: a person learns to be human from others. Influence is mutual. The choices are ours.

The Confucian tradition of ancient China already encouraged people to observe others and reflect on themselves in light of what they saw. On seeing a virtuous person, they should consider how to become like them; on seeing someone acting badly, they should look within and check whether they themselves do anything similar. There is something important in this thought: an example is not merely something we imitate. It is also a mirror in which we can recognise ourselves and our actions.

A similar thought is expressed even more directly in the Indian Bhagavadgita. There we find the famous statement that people follow what the best or most respected among them do: whatever example they set, the world follows. Here, example takes on an even broader meaning. It influences not only the individual but can also shape a community. Through their behaviour, a person with authority unknowingly sets the boundaries of what others understand as permissible, normal or desirable. That is why it matters what humanity grants authority to.

This idea is also important because it reveals the difference between words and deeds. Someone may speak of honesty while acting dishonestly. They may speak of respect yet belittle others. They may demand responsibility while avoiding it themselves. In such cases, people will often believe their actions more than their words. Example has a particular power: it does not ask us to believe it. It simply reflects us.

We find similar thinking in ancient Greece. Aristotle linked a person's character to their conduct. A person does not become just merely by knowing what is just. Justice becomes part of their character through actions. By repeatedly behaving in a particular way, a person gradually becomes that kind of person. Here too, then, action matters more than teaching alone.

The Romans expressed this thought even more directly. Seneca wrote: “The way is long through teachings, short and effective through examples.” A profound educational truth is captured in this one sentence, one that all of us parents encounter indirectly. We can spend a long time explaining to a person (a child) how to behave, yet a single concrete example may do more than many sermons. A child who is told to be kind will learn far more from seeing an adult who is kind even when they do not have to be.

The Latin proverbial tradition condensed this thought into an almost perfect expression: Verba docent, exempla trahunt—“Words teach, examples lead.” Here, the Slovenian “Example leads” reveals an interesting kinship with the European tradition. Words can instruct a person, while example draws them into action. In Daoism, we might distinguish between theory and spontaneous flow.

Similar thoughts later appeared in European folk proverbs. The English say: “Example is better than precept”, example is better than precept. Another English expression says: “Actions speak louder than words”—actions speak louder than words. The German tradition holds that a good example is the best sermon. The same human experience thus recurs across different languages.

The Slovenian language, too, has preserved this experience in short, vivid proverbs. “Example leads” is one of them. Similarly, we say: “Like father, like son” or “The apple does not fall far from the tree.” These expressions point to something that was obvious to people long before modern behavioural research: a person adopts habits, ways of speaking, attitudes and values from the environment in which they live.

But an example is not always good. This is precisely why the proverb “Example leads” also has a darker side. If people see violence, violence can become commonplace. If they see contempt, they can learn to be contemptuous. If they see that rules apply only to others, they may lose their sense of those rules' validity. A bad example can be just as powerful as a good one. Politics can exploit this skilfully.

Perhaps this is why the proverb matters more than it first appears. It is not only about raising children. It is about the responsibility of every person who knows that others are watching them. Parents set an example for children, teachers for pupils, older people for younger ones, leaders for communities. A person can be an example even without realising it.

And here the proverb touches on something very contemporary. We live in a time when we are surrounded by countless images of people we follow through the media, social media and public life. Every day we watch how others speak, how they resolve conflicts, how they handle money, power, success and other people. Whether we are aware of it or not, these patterns influence our understanding of what is normal and what is acceptable.

“Example leads” is therefore not just a proverb about children. It is a proverb about society. No society educates its members solely through schools, laws and books. It also educates them through what it sees every day. If we want a respectful society, talking about respect is not enough. If we want honesty, demanding honesty from others is not enough. If we want responsibility, we must also show it ourselves.

From Confucius to the Bhagavadgita, from Aristotle to Seneca, from the Latin exempla trahunt to European folk proverbs and the Slovenian “Example leads”, the same thought recurs across the millennia. A human being observes, imitates and learns. Words can show a person the path, but example shows them how to walk it. The choice, however, is personal.

And people often follow where example leads them. Example leads. But we choose the direction ourselves.

Yuan Weiqi